The Day After 9/11

Can I say that I'm ready for all the 9/11 stuff to be over? I will always remember that day and what happened, but I do not want to re-live it so vividly. I have watched some of the 9/11 footage again, but I cannot bear to watch for long. I purposely avoided it these last few days. Some of the news people were so "heavy" with their delivery yesterday, even wearing black. My feeling - and I hope I can put it into words - is that we should always remember what happened and honor those who died, but it should motivate us in our resolve to defend our freedoms. I feel sorry for those who have to carry the burden of loss, I really do. But I wish that there was more positive energy involved instead of paralizing sorrow, like a heavy backpack that we are doomed to carry. Anyway, I remember.

When I got home yesterday, Mom said that Jeff was coming over because he wanted us to tell him again about being in Washington DC on 9/11/2001. I thought, oh great, I have avoided it all day, and now I have to dredge it up. So we talked about it, and wondered about the "what ifs" of that week. Mom and I were standing in line to tour the White House on that morning 5 years ago, so we were part of the herd that was cleared from the area once the attacks started. We saw the smoke from the Pentagon and saw fighter jets in the air. We didn't really know what was going on. Eventually we learned that a plane had crashed in Pennsylvania and the speculation was that it was headed for either the White House or the Capitol. And we learned from another conversation that we had later that week, that had the plane hit the White House, we would have been counted in the casualties of that day because of where we were standing. Personally, I think the Capitol was a more logical target. Nevertheless, the passengers on United 93 did not know that - they had only determined that they would defeat the hijackers plan. And they did. Jeff ended the discussion by saying that he was really sorry that people lost their lives when that plane crashed in Pennsylvania, but he felt that he owed them a debt of gratitude. Because of that plane crash, he expressed gratitude that the lives of his mother and sister were preserved. The sobering effects of that day have many layers and ripples.

I always wondered why my mother had a hard time watching movies or documentaries about WWII, and now I think I understand.